The social monster

So yeah - this one's been pending for a long while now - but who has the time these days? To read, to write... In fact, have you ever stopped to think if you even have time for YOURSELF? Because I think almost 90% of us these days are literally OBSESSED with the digital and social world!

I have noticed a great deal of people (myself included), can sit for hours on end on facebook, doing NOTHING AT ALL! Writing a new post? Nah. Chatting with friends? Nah. Then what are you doing on facebook? "Staring at my wall"!! Yes. It indeed is as lame as it sounds! What I don't get is what joy or pleasure do we get out of sitting like zombies in front of a bright screen, going through stories of peoples lives that do not have anything to do with us in the least!

Of course while talking about facebook, whatsapp can't be left behind!
Agreed we teenagers LOVE to be with our friends 24*7. But trust me - I speak from personal experience... Being with "the people you love" ALL the time leads to more feuds than fun! Instead of spending all the time at your disposal with ONE person, have you ever tried spending lesser time with more people?
No? Try it - and I can guarantee you that you'll be a happier person.

These two again - aren't our only obsessions. We have folders and folders of photographs in our laptops and mobile phones of our boyfriends, the cool college gang, crushes and hot singers and actors. We could go over them for hours on end, day after day, night after night and never get tired of it. I know - I do it myself. But yesterday I sat down with my sister and took out an old album of our family weddings, and when we were small. You won't believe the memories that flooded our minds, and how much we laughed and cherished those moments. That's when I realised I've literally stopped interacting with my family altogether. You meet your boyfriend and your gang everyday. Cool you have tonnes and tonnes of pictures of them. But whom do you laugh over them with? Whom do you share them with? No one - because it's part of your daily routine! Once in a way take out your family album and take it to your grandma or parents and see how they light up as they tell you the story behind each and every picture! That joy, that bliss, to go over memories and smile at them with someone to share it with you, matches no other!

Look - I am in no way saying that we should throw our phones and laptops away and ONLY use them for contacting each other.. Pictures are memories. Memories are important. And given our generation, if you don't talk to someone for 3-4 days, they think you're ignoring them and get annoyed. I get all that. But what I am trying to stress on over here is - do that when you have NOTHING better to do. When you're around people, be it family, work, or friends, spend time with THEM instead of gassing away on BBM or WhatsApp... Tell the concerned people that you are with friends/family, or that you are busy and will get back to them. I'm sure they will understand. And if they don't, I'm sorry, but as harsh as it may sound, they don't deserve to be with you in the first place if they can't understand you.

Life is short guys - I've learnt it the hard way - you NEVER know what the next moment might have in store for you.
Spend time with the people you love, but don't ignore the people who love you. Make them feel special too. Let your loved ones know how much you care. You don't need to get mushy cards and all to show your love and affection - remember - actions always speak louder than words.

Talking, hanging out, even just watching a movie - just spending any amount of time with all the people in your life will not only make you a happier and calmer person, but at the same time, will make the others feel loved and welcomed in your life.

And trust me, there is no greater joy than knowing that you made someone's day!!

So talk, love, hug, laugh.... Make yourself special and make others happy!

Have a great day.

The selfish yet "Social" spendthrift generation.

As a kid, there never used to be a single day where, after after my regular hour long mid-day nap, I would not go to the park outside my building, just to run around and slide and play on the swings if not have a round of games with my friends.
I had no  knowledge about electronic gadgets and mobile phones. I would get maximum two hours on the computer, and that too for creating stuff on "Microsoft Paint". Phones, computers, etc were all adult stuff that I was unconcerned with - they were too complicated for me.
A day without a walk in the park and an ice-cream on the way back with my Dadi (grandma) was a day not lived. I would mourn and sulk if I went through a day like that.

On the other hand, when I look at the children and teenagers today, I am left speechless. The element of "fun" and the word "childhood" has practically been erased from their lives! But then - can we put the entire blame on the kids? I guess not. It's the parents who no longer have time for their kids in their busy metropolitan lives!
Oh there's this amazing movie coming out this weekend! Let's go for the last show, and since we can't leave the kids back home, we'll take them as well, irrespective of whether or not the movie is apt for them.
WHY? Why not spend those three hours interacting and playing with your kids, teaching them new stuff and instilling more values in their lives? Why not encourage to go out and play with their friends rather than sending them off to malls and buying them expensive phones, PS3's, X-Box, and various other gadgets!
Their imagination, thought process, and every functional, and exciting aspect of their lives has literally been brought to a halt.

The concept of picnics has practically become extinct! Museums, parks, and adventure sports are all concepts alien to the children today. "Oh Mom, its so boring!" is the first thing that'll come out of their little mouths the minute they hear the word museum or sanctuaries.

Moving on to the teenagers of today - the tech-savvy gen-next.
What does THEIR life consist of?
Exactly the same - the latest gadgets - laptops, mobiles, tablets, you name it and they have it.
And the most  important part of their life - SOCIAL NETWORKING!
Now technically, these kids are super social - Facebook, Twitter, Hi5, WhatsApp, BBM and the like are always open on their various gadgets. Out with friends, click a picture and upload it on facebook, and tweet about it on twitter. Even when they are  with people, their minds are constantly on facebook and other social networking sites and applications. The genuity, humility, beauty, and purity of the human heart, and the wit and logic expected from budding adults is actively missing in the lives of these young ones.
Thanks to the wonderful world of WhatsApp and BBM, the vocabulary of today's children and teenagers alike, has dropped to an all time low. Reading is a habit barely five percent of the youth today have been able to inculcate in themselves.

Though they'll be on texts and sites 24X7, expecting a normal conversation with them is like expecting  something out of this world! The 'outings', 'get-togethers', 'reunions', parties' are ALL strictly limited to expenditure on new clothes, new shoes, expensive discos, booze, and the most stylish venues.
Life has literally become a competition. She gave her birthday party at 'Big Chills', I better give it at 'Hard Rock'.

Why? Where have the good old days of home made salami sandwiches, and rolls, baking, and cooking gone? Maybe we should look back on our lives, see where we are leading to. The rate at which the youth is going today, none of us will really have friends, or actual family reunions fifteen-twenty years down the line.
So is that really where we want to be? A position where we have no one there for us? A life of loneliness?
I guess not.

So learn to live life. Love, talk, play, have conversations. Nothing will make you happier than knowing that you have company! And once you start, you'll realise what you've been missing all this while trying to be 'social'. Start living the REAL life rather than the visual life. Sit with friends, go to parks, breathe the fresh air... Life's meant to be good. Let's try keeping it that way.

A journey through time...

So here it is. My very first blog....
Who knows how it's going to turn out? Should I even be writing it? Who's going to like it?
These are things that always came to my mind whenever I thought of writing.
Writing's always been my passion. I would write to feel better. A fight with that friend you've had for fifteen years? Jot it down and let it out! Oh you saw a hot guy at college today? Go ahead, write about it.
I was in 10th grade, taking my boards when it first occurred to me to write a blog - but then, though I'd written loads and filled up about 4 diaries in the past year, I decided against the idea of a blog. I was scared that I would be made fun of. Well, yeah, I still am, but the "fear" of being mocked at, being bitched about, its all sort of disappeared now. So this is how things changed....

In high school, I was an average person. Not many friends, no one to hang out with in the evenings, no jam sessions, no over the top parties, average marks in the examinations - there was NOTHING exciting about my life. In fact, at times I used to hate it. I would keep questioning God - why me? 
I started believing that I was no good, and that I'd rather not be around people than have them laugh at me. I became a total introvert and never spoke to anyone outside my family. Had it not been for that one close friend Sid, I'd have, in fact, probably become suicidal! We'd talk all night - even nights before our pre-boards till he knew for sure that I was feeling better. I could never have found a better guide, a better shoulder to cry on, or a better friend than I did in him. He was always there, no matter what - but other than him, I had no one.

Then came my 15th birthday. Nothing great nothing new. Being a Christmas baby, my birthday celebrations always start on the midnight of 24th-25th December in the church, followed by a sort of family reunion in the evening with one or two family friends. So why would this year be any different?
Well, it was. A guy asked me out. I was spellbound. I didn't know what to say or do. Would it be right? What would people say? Would my classmates make fun of this as well? Various thoughts ran through my head in that split second - but on the other hand, i did like this guy, and I wanted to know what it felt like to be in a 'relationship', and so, i went ahead, and said yes. We started spending more time together - he'd walk me to tuition classes everyday after school and would never let me be sad for a single moment. I was on cloud nine. I was sure that what I felt then was 'love'. Little did I know back then that nothing lasts forever and that at that age, it isn't love, but mere infatuation  one year passed, my 16th birthday arrived, and he made it special for me with three surprises and I was convinced that he'd never leave me. 
Two weeks down the line, we broke up. It wasn't his fault. It was mutual - but that doesn't mean that it didn't affect me. I was shattered. I gave up on the concept of 'love' - stopped eating - gave up my music - everything. I wouldn't even talk to Sid no matter how much he called or texted. I went back into my shell, determined never to come out. It took me months before I could normally talk to anyone. I had decided that never again would I trust anyone in my life. 

And so, I spent the last two years of my school life with a mask over my face. I didn't open up to anyone. Didn't showcase my talent anywhere - be it dance, music, writing, anything. 

Those two years passed somehow, and in came college life.
I won't go into the details of everything here... I'll just get down to the main point of this post - what caused me to change.

Our class has a variety of people - moody, idiotic, funny, annoying... ALL sorts.
But like any other place, here too, there were two people who shone out from the rest. My two besties - KD and Snag. 
I met Snag on the very first day of college - our orientation programme - and within three days, we were inseparable! What attracted me to this girl was her innately calm personality. I had never seen anyone so calm, so composed, and so happy with her life the way it is. While all the other girls were running around checking out guys, she was just wondering where the canteen was.
KD on the other hand, is the complete opposite. A full on crazy, hyper freak! We first met on the day of the freshers welcome. He was such a chilled out guy, it's not even funny. This guy has two sides to him - a complete carefree freak, and a superbly caring gentleman.

It's mainly these two people who are the reason behind this change in me.
Had it not been for KD, I would probably have remained that same depressed person all my life! He's the one who taught me - that whatever happens, life goes on and so do you! You don't just crash and fall apart just because you got bad grades - or because someone embarrassed you in front of a lot of people. 
Don't think about what others have to say about you. Do what YOU feel is right - and believe it or not, when you're happy with yourself, others are happy with you. You'll see people start spending more time with you, and you'll start enjoying life more. 
Snag taught me how to move on and not hold grudges. A golden quality I've learnt from her is - she speaks her mind at that moment. If there's something she doesn't like, she'll say it - but then again - she'll say it in such a way that you don't get offended. She taught me to stop over thinking stuff and rather sit and talk out the problems you have with anyone.

I've been with these two for over a year now, and I genuinely am a different person. I no longer look down upon myself or feel useless. I have found my passion for dance and photography and I practise it! And sure enough, I indeed have started enjoying my life more!

So what I'm basically trying to say here is - don't hold yourself down. Don't let someone else rule your life. You are an individual - you are unique. Thats how God intended it to be. Go out there - shine. Don't worry about the world. Those who don't want you don't matter - but be there for those who do. Shine for those who care enough to see you excel. Shine for those who can't wait to see you happy because believe me, there will always be such people, and they are what matter. 
Having said that, I leave you with the thought - are you truly happy with what you're doing?
Don't wear a mask over your face. It never works. Take it from someone who knows. 
As for love, don't run after it - it will come to you in its own time. Find your hidden talent - everyone has SOMETHING or the other hidden in them - and pursue it. You can't even imagine the joy you'll get out of doing what you love