So here it is. My very first blog....
Who knows how it's going to turn out? Should I even be writing it? Who's going to like it?
These are things that always came to my mind whenever I thought of writing.
Writing's always been my passion. I would write to feel better. A fight with that friend you've had for fifteen years? Jot it down and let it out! Oh you saw a hot guy at college today? Go ahead, write about it.
I was in 10th grade, taking my boards when it first occurred to me to write a blog - but then, though I'd written loads and filled up about 4 diaries in the past year, I decided against the idea of a blog. I was scared that I would be made fun of. Well, yeah, I still am, but the "fear" of being mocked at, being bitched about, its all sort of disappeared now. So this is how things changed....
In high school, I was an average person. Not many friends, no one to hang out with in the evenings, no jam sessions, no over the top parties, average marks in the examinations - there was NOTHING exciting about my life. In fact, at times I used to hate it. I would keep questioning God - why me?
I started believing that I was no good, and that I'd rather not be around people than have them laugh at me. I became a total introvert and never spoke to anyone outside my family. Had it not been for that one close friend Sid, I'd have, in fact, probably become suicidal! We'd talk all night - even nights before our pre-boards till he knew for sure that I was feeling better. I could never have found a better guide, a better shoulder to cry on, or a better friend than I did in him. He was always there, no matter what - but other than him, I had no one.
Then came my 15th birthday. Nothing great nothing new. Being a Christmas baby, my birthday celebrations always start on the midnight of 24th-25th December in the church, followed by a sort of family reunion in the evening with one or two family friends. So why would this year be any different?
Well, it was. A guy asked me out. I was spellbound. I didn't know what to say or do. Would it be right? What would people say? Would my classmates make fun of this as well? Various thoughts ran through my head in that split second - but on the other hand, i did like this guy, and I wanted to know what it felt like to be in a 'relationship', and so, i went ahead, and said yes. We started spending more time together - he'd walk me to tuition classes everyday after school and would never let me be sad for a single moment. I was on cloud nine. I was sure that what I felt then was 'love'. Little did I know back then that nothing lasts forever and that at that age, it isn't love, but mere infatuation one year passed, my 16th birthday arrived, and he made it special for me with three surprises and I was convinced that he'd never leave me.
Two weeks down the line, we broke up. It wasn't his fault. It was mutual - but that doesn't mean that it didn't affect me. I was shattered. I gave up on the concept of 'love' - stopped eating - gave up my music - everything. I wouldn't even talk to Sid no matter how much he called or texted. I went back into my shell, determined never to come out. It took me months before I could normally talk to anyone. I had decided that never again would I trust anyone in my life.
And so, I spent the last two years of my school life with a mask over my face. I didn't open up to anyone. Didn't showcase my talent anywhere - be it dance, music, writing, anything.
Those two years passed somehow, and in came college life.
I won't go into the details of everything here... I'll just get down to the main point of this post - what caused me to change.
Our class has a variety of people - moody, idiotic, funny, annoying... ALL sorts.
But like any other place, here too, there were two people who shone out from the rest. My two besties - KD and Snag.
I met Snag on the very first day of college - our orientation programme - and within three days, we were inseparable! What attracted me to this girl was her innately calm personality. I had never seen anyone so calm, so composed, and so happy with her life the way it is. While all the other girls were running around checking out guys, she was just wondering where the canteen was.
KD on the other hand, is the complete opposite. A full on crazy, hyper freak! We first met on the day of the freshers welcome. He was such a chilled out guy, it's not even funny. This guy has two sides to him - a complete carefree freak, and a superbly caring gentleman.
It's mainly these two people who are the reason behind this change in me.
Had it not been for KD, I would probably have remained that same depressed person all my life! He's the one who taught me - that whatever happens, life goes on and so do you! You don't just crash and fall apart just because you got bad grades - or because someone embarrassed you in front of a lot of people.
Don't think about what others have to say about you. Do what YOU feel is right - and believe it or not, when you're happy with yourself, others are happy with you. You'll see people start spending more time with you, and you'll start enjoying life more.
Snag taught me how to move on and not hold grudges. A golden quality I've learnt from her is - she speaks her mind at that moment. If there's something she doesn't like, she'll say it - but then again - she'll say it in such a way that you don't get offended. She taught me to stop over thinking stuff and rather sit and talk out the problems you have with anyone.
I've been with these two for over a year now, and I genuinely am a different person. I no longer look down upon myself or feel useless. I have found my passion for dance and photography and I practise it! And sure enough, I indeed have started enjoying my life more!
So what I'm basically trying to say here is - don't hold yourself down. Don't let someone else rule your life. You are an individual - you are unique. Thats how God intended it to be. Go out there - shine. Don't worry about the world. Those who don't want you don't matter - but be there for those who do. Shine for those who care enough to see you excel. Shine for those who can't wait to see you happy because believe me, there will always be such people, and they are what matter.
Having said that, I leave you with the thought - are you truly happy with what you're doing?
Don't wear a mask over your face. It never works. Take it from someone who knows.
As for love, don't run after it - it will come to you in its own time. Find your hidden talent - everyone has SOMETHING or the other hidden in them - and pursue it. You can't even imagine the joy you'll get out of doing what you love
Who knows how it's going to turn out? Should I even be writing it? Who's going to like it?
These are things that always came to my mind whenever I thought of writing.
Writing's always been my passion. I would write to feel better. A fight with that friend you've had for fifteen years? Jot it down and let it out! Oh you saw a hot guy at college today? Go ahead, write about it.
I was in 10th grade, taking my boards when it first occurred to me to write a blog - but then, though I'd written loads and filled up about 4 diaries in the past year, I decided against the idea of a blog. I was scared that I would be made fun of. Well, yeah, I still am, but the "fear" of being mocked at, being bitched about, its all sort of disappeared now. So this is how things changed....
In high school, I was an average person. Not many friends, no one to hang out with in the evenings, no jam sessions, no over the top parties, average marks in the examinations - there was NOTHING exciting about my life. In fact, at times I used to hate it. I would keep questioning God - why me?
I started believing that I was no good, and that I'd rather not be around people than have them laugh at me. I became a total introvert and never spoke to anyone outside my family. Had it not been for that one close friend Sid, I'd have, in fact, probably become suicidal! We'd talk all night - even nights before our pre-boards till he knew for sure that I was feeling better. I could never have found a better guide, a better shoulder to cry on, or a better friend than I did in him. He was always there, no matter what - but other than him, I had no one.
Then came my 15th birthday. Nothing great nothing new. Being a Christmas baby, my birthday celebrations always start on the midnight of 24th-25th December in the church, followed by a sort of family reunion in the evening with one or two family friends. So why would this year be any different?
Well, it was. A guy asked me out. I was spellbound. I didn't know what to say or do. Would it be right? What would people say? Would my classmates make fun of this as well? Various thoughts ran through my head in that split second - but on the other hand, i did like this guy, and I wanted to know what it felt like to be in a 'relationship', and so, i went ahead, and said yes. We started spending more time together - he'd walk me to tuition classes everyday after school and would never let me be sad for a single moment. I was on cloud nine. I was sure that what I felt then was 'love'. Little did I know back then that nothing lasts forever and that at that age, it isn't love, but mere infatuation one year passed, my 16th birthday arrived, and he made it special for me with three surprises and I was convinced that he'd never leave me.
Two weeks down the line, we broke up. It wasn't his fault. It was mutual - but that doesn't mean that it didn't affect me. I was shattered. I gave up on the concept of 'love' - stopped eating - gave up my music - everything. I wouldn't even talk to Sid no matter how much he called or texted. I went back into my shell, determined never to come out. It took me months before I could normally talk to anyone. I had decided that never again would I trust anyone in my life.
And so, I spent the last two years of my school life with a mask over my face. I didn't open up to anyone. Didn't showcase my talent anywhere - be it dance, music, writing, anything.
Those two years passed somehow, and in came college life.
I won't go into the details of everything here... I'll just get down to the main point of this post - what caused me to change.
Our class has a variety of people - moody, idiotic, funny, annoying... ALL sorts.
But like any other place, here too, there were two people who shone out from the rest. My two besties - KD and Snag.
I met Snag on the very first day of college - our orientation programme - and within three days, we were inseparable! What attracted me to this girl was her innately calm personality. I had never seen anyone so calm, so composed, and so happy with her life the way it is. While all the other girls were running around checking out guys, she was just wondering where the canteen was.
KD on the other hand, is the complete opposite. A full on crazy, hyper freak! We first met on the day of the freshers welcome. He was such a chilled out guy, it's not even funny. This guy has two sides to him - a complete carefree freak, and a superbly caring gentleman.
It's mainly these two people who are the reason behind this change in me.
Had it not been for KD, I would probably have remained that same depressed person all my life! He's the one who taught me - that whatever happens, life goes on and so do you! You don't just crash and fall apart just because you got bad grades - or because someone embarrassed you in front of a lot of people.
Don't think about what others have to say about you. Do what YOU feel is right - and believe it or not, when you're happy with yourself, others are happy with you. You'll see people start spending more time with you, and you'll start enjoying life more.
Snag taught me how to move on and not hold grudges. A golden quality I've learnt from her is - she speaks her mind at that moment. If there's something she doesn't like, she'll say it - but then again - she'll say it in such a way that you don't get offended. She taught me to stop over thinking stuff and rather sit and talk out the problems you have with anyone.
I've been with these two for over a year now, and I genuinely am a different person. I no longer look down upon myself or feel useless. I have found my passion for dance and photography and I practise it! And sure enough, I indeed have started enjoying my life more!
So what I'm basically trying to say here is - don't hold yourself down. Don't let someone else rule your life. You are an individual - you are unique. Thats how God intended it to be. Go out there - shine. Don't worry about the world. Those who don't want you don't matter - but be there for those who do. Shine for those who care enough to see you excel. Shine for those who can't wait to see you happy because believe me, there will always be such people, and they are what matter.
Having said that, I leave you with the thought - are you truly happy with what you're doing?
Don't wear a mask over your face. It never works. Take it from someone who knows.
As for love, don't run after it - it will come to you in its own time. Find your hidden talent - everyone has SOMETHING or the other hidden in them - and pursue it. You can't even imagine the joy you'll get out of doing what you love
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